A Warm Welcome...
The is the home for every solo woman over 40, exploring or receiving fertility treatment. Also welcoming partnered people.
Instagram: @solofertility40s
This corner of the internet was birthed in September 2024, just four months into my fertility journey.
Why?
Because I was fed up with the lack of information specific to solo women in their 40s having fertility treatment. I felt I was flying very solo, in what is already a tough process. The lack of relevant, targeted information made the journey even harder.
These things made me feel ike an anomaly:
I picked up books - they mentioned couples and sperm testing.
I joined webinars - they involved far younger women and/or couples.
I subscribed to fertility ‘experts’ - their offerings were clearly targeted at couples, not solos.
Yet I felt certain that there must be other women just like me, treading a similar path. Feeling overwhelmed, uncertain and a little fearful.
But I couldn’t find my tribe.
I underwent own egg IVF cycles in Spain, and then Greece, using donor sperm from local banks (in both cases, anonymous). I realised I was learning a ton—but accruing information as I went.
Time and again, I thought why did no one tell me this from the outset?
After my awful first IVF cycle in Spain, I delved into the research. It felt like a crash course in assisted reproductive technologies. I needed answers. My first IVF cycle ended traumatically with three embryos deemed aneuploid (abnormal) by a genetic test called PGT-A.
I was desperate to understand how this had happened, and how it could be avoided in the next cycle. I had been totally unprepared for this outcome. I realised that relying on your doctor to inform you, even when you’re paying thousands—is a fool’s game.
As I researched and shared information with other women via the (sometimes awful) fertility socials - I realised I was facing the same challenges as many other women.
The same lack of information that prevented informed decision making; the same naive faith in their medical team; the same hopeless admin errors by fertility clinics; the same difficult outcomes they weren’t prepared for….
So I started doing what I do best: talking and writing.
If twenty years in corporate PR has taught me anything, it’s that words have power. They stop things being swept under the carpet. They can make or break reputations. And they can protect.
Words can do these things because they inform.
And as you’ll hear frequently in the world of fertility—making informed decisions is the goal. (Your clinic should also support you to do this—but many don’t.)
At the start of my fertility treatment, I was far from informed. You simply don’t know what you don’t know. Any good doctor should recognise this, and help bring you up to speed. Mine didn’t.
I didn’t get off to a good start. Receiving my low AMH results made me panic.
So I made a ton of easily avoidable mistakes.
Like hiring a doctor I didn’t gel with; investing in a clinic who made me feel like just another number on their system; and committing to PGT-A, an expensive fertility ‘add-on’ that I wasn’t convinced about.
But I was clueless—helpless even.
Totally overwhelmed by the enormity and artificiality of Assisted Reproductive Technologies; grieving the absence of finding Mr Right for conventional family-building; and anxious about funding treatment alone given the eye-watering costs.
Perhaps you’ve felt the same?
Solo Fertility 40s is my offering to you. To ease some of the confusion, the pressure and the loneliness of this path to motherhood, for solo women. I hope partnered people also find some benefit here, too.
Here’s 3 things I want you to know.
Pursuing solo motherhood in your 40s isn’t just possible—it’s a growing movement. The SM40s includes me, and you, and the many women to come, who find themselves opting out of partnered parenting, and opting into going solo.
Solo Fertility 40s is for people—for women. This will always be at the heart of this channel, underpinned by a deep respect for every woman’s ability to decide her fertility treatment, and her right to pursue motherhood, on her terms.
This channel is my expression of thanks to the many women who have helped me at my lowest times. There are many (solo and partnered) who I’d be lost without. Thank you.
Getting started
Here’s some of the most popular stories.
Got a story idea? Let me know.
fertility40s@gmail.com
Sarah x